Okay guys I posted the personal life story one and then I re blogged the story about me and justin I hope this Helps you understand more about me.

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Anonymous asked: That was so intense to read. Like wow I have never felt so emotionally affected and moved by someone's personal story before. Wow.

wow… i’m really surprise , i don’t know what to say.. i added a lot more in it like 1 min ago so theres new stuff and secrets added in btw!

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Anonymous asked: That was the most inane thing I have ever read.

wow really? i actually didn’t think to much of it until i actually started writing!

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"Everything will be okay i promise!"..

Every thing was perfect, hot summer days and great friends to spend time with, i had no stress and nothing on my mind.. August came around from when I really started getting to know you, you were on my mind 24/7 after the last party we went to together and when you txted me i didn’t know what to do with myself. every day waking up to “good morning beautiful(:” txts always would put a smile on my face. You knew exactly how to make me happy, everything was perfect with you. we began hanging out and that’s when i realized how much i truly liked you, going on long drives, watching the stars together, drinking and telling each other the things we couldn’t say sober. in my eyes you were perfect brown curly hair that flipped out from underneath your hat, handsome smile, so respectful, always SO positive on things with life, hard working.  . i looked forward to seeing you on our weekends together, we had so many memories together that ill never forget you made me the happiest girl alive. picking me up every Saturday night, heading out to go to a party, the beach, or simply just laying under the stars. I still remember the first time we hung out by ourselfs, you taught me how to drive your powerstroke diesel truck, every time after that when i would change gears for you while driving you were always so proud of me! you looked at me smiled and would say “That’s my girl!”  or our other memories of  when we were walking on the beach at 12 AM talking about how happy we were together and how you wanted to put me in a cute little cow girl outfit. the one thing that will always stay on my mind is when i was super upset about how messed up my back was from scoliosis and you said “shay.. god made you this way because he thought it was unfair to everyone else for you to be so perfect” But weeks went by & things began to get rough, rumors were spread, i was 15 and you were 19 people found out we were hanging out, i was supposivly this “slut” and i couldn’t deal with this. i confronted you and we both realized it would be best to just end it, no more of me and you.. weeks went on and i still missed you.. never seeing your smile or hearing your laugh was terrible. then one night you decided to text me, you told me how much you missed me and that you were sorry for what happened.. we agreed to hang out & the night we hung out it was just like old times except you were drunker then usual and told me tons of different things i have never herd you say to me and words could not describe how happy i was, especially getting the text the next morning saying you meant everything you said. we knew we couldn’t see each other as much as we used to but  you txted me and i found it surprisingly because we hadn’t talked for a couple weeks and you asked if i wanted to hang.. that night for me was already bad since i got ditched by another guy i was suppose to see. so i thought why not? there’s no harm being done and i took off telling my mom i was going to the movies with some friends. we drove around in your new car.. a brand new GTI. we had our usual laughs and just hearing your voice again made me realize how much i loved you.. we went 130MPH in your car literally almost killing ourselfs.. running through 2 different stop signs i yelled for you to stop while saying “Slow down were gonna die!”  but you insisted and just kept thrilling me you told me “No no no shay its okay, were gonna be okay i promise!”  it was fun and scary i would say, but i knew there was something weird about this night.. something not quite right.. you told me you sold your truck AND dirt bike. (the things you loved so much). hmm that’s weird.. you then told me you loved me and couldn’t deal with out me.. that you had never liked a girl this much and it killed you hearing other guys talk about me i remember one night you txted me so upset telling me about how you herd i was talking to someone and you wished we were together you always got so jealous . we only had 2 hours together and at the end of the night you gave me that one last hug and kiss along with telling me how much you cared for me (Something you rarely do in person)while hugging you told me “Shaylee I’ve missed you so much.. and something just told me that i needed to talk to you today, i care about you so much, please know that, i had a lot of fun tonight and wish you can stay longer, i will text you when i get back to the house, i love you”…hearing that made me want to cry it was just so nice hearing you say these things to me..  coming back inside i was overwhelmed with happiness we txted for around 30 min and you told me you were heading to a party earlier this same night so when you stopped txting me i figured you were just driving but when my mom asked me if i knew you (She never knew we had ever hung out because of our ages) i said yes strangely and she told me about how you were in a car accident.. and had died along with your friend. you were going 130 MPH and over steered driving straight into a tree. immediately i broke down. screaming and crying about what had happened, my world had stopped, WHY? no no no this cant be happening! not me not you?! not us! tonight was perfect! that’s impossible you crashed we were just talking! This isn’t real! stop lying! This joke isn’t funny! STOP! you told me everything was gonna be okay!? i TOLD you we were gonna die! i could have been with you!? this isn’t okay babe no!!.. you promised me. after hearing this  my world just came crashing down, our Friday nights were done with and so were you. no more stargazing and camping together, no more you + me. you were gone forever and i was just stuck here.. wanting out.. i couldn’t deal.. i was no longer happy, my smile faded and all though i had amazing friends and family to help no one truly understood the toll it took on me, a peace of me is gone and there’s no getting it back, what do you mean no more late night phone calls? is this just a joke? sadly it wasn’t. i just wanted you home. I’m not myself anymore and I’m staying strong down here for you hoping your watching me, i talk to you every night while laying in your sweatshirt hoping your talking back, I’ve seen you in my dreams and i guess that will be all it will be for a while.. the very first dream i had with you was so beautiful.. at one point we were laying on my couch laughing and talking to my mom (Something i always wanted because she never knew we talked) the other one i had i was running to your grave at the cemetery and just laid there and cried and i felt you with me. the last one i had was actually a couple weeks ago, it was of me sleeping but you were watching over top of me and telling me “Don’t worry shay.. don’t feel like I’m not with you.. I’m always with you especially when you’re done talking to me and you’re falling asleep, i can just watch you, I’m always here even when you think I’m not”  i knew something was weird about that night.. i knew it.. everything happens for a reason right? it puts me at ease knowing i was the last girl you talked to and kissed. i knew god made you text me just so i knew from that night on how much you cared because with out that night of us hanging out i would be eaten alive from the things i didn’t know. the weird thing is thought that it seems like this whole time it was destined to happen i mean you sold your truck and bike, and told me your true feelings for me all in one night of something that wasn’t even planned.. . all in all my perfect summer had truly been amazing with you.. who would have known you would be gone just within a short amount of time. That girl with the smile on her face was no longer happy & the smile had faded. how do you think i felt one minute I’m with you the next you’re just gone yes i did get to say good bye but not a proper one, i thought i was kissing you goodnight.. not goodbye forever. i guess there’s no more long walks on the beach at midnight huh? no more thrilling adventures and early mornings waking up next to you? no more hearing you say “That’s my girl!”  I listen to the music we used to listen & sing to together and  the sadness just hurts so much thinking about all the great memories we had and were making are now just gone, the memories just hurt knowing there wont be any more. I never would have thought this would happen to you. Things will never be the same and it still doesn’t feel real that you are actually gone.. feels like just yesterday but tomorrow marks 23 weeks and my Fridays just aren’t the same while everyone is running around looking for parties i just sit there and think about all the good memories we had. little does anyone know how deeply depressed i am.. my friends don’t even realize how bad i actually am and have gotten i guess I’m just good at faking a smile? there has been times where I’m even at a friends house and i just lay there and cry silently just so they wont here me, yeah my friends do know I’m upset but they clearly don’t realize the intensity of it all because they  will never understand what it feels like to go through something this horrific unless it actually were to happen to them.. which i hope NO ONE has to undergo a pain not just emotionally but physically as well. i hate the way I’ve changed either I’m crying to one friend or bitching at the next to get my emotion out.. they don’t deserve that at all..  i mean yeah ill laugh with them and pretend I’m not broken inside, but when night comes around and I’m alone and not talking to you, that’s when i Cry to the point where I’m literally dry heaving, my head is pounding, screaming in my pillow, holding my head and wondering why i didn’t tell you not to go to that party, i could have stopped you but i didn’t, i feel so guilty. i just lay there numb hoping this would all just stop, wishing this was just a bad dream. i text my friends for help but they just wonder why I’m up so late.. and not sleeping yet, just like i said earlier they haven’t gone through this so they cant help me to much so when i text them at 4 in the morning  they don’t understand this is just  the usual for me… but This ISNT NORMAL for a teenage girl, why do i get this pain? what did i do wrong? i didn’t think i did anything to deserve this .. constantly going online trying to find possible ways to stop this kind of pain, whether its sleeping pills, or drugs, nothing helps. The past times I’ve done shrooms I’ve seen you peaking around the corner of a wall then you turn around and walk away ..so i follow hoping i can get just one last bear hug from you or hear you tell me “it’s okay, I’m okay remember? i promised.” but when ever you turn a corner you’re gone.  or when i have my acid flashbacks i see you, then it flashes back in my mind to me being with you in the car going at 130 mph then we all just melt together as one big trippy dream. this pain is just so unbearable, after hearing my mom say you passed away it felt like i was stabbed a million times, you’re gone and there is nothing i can do to get you back Everyone says “oh it will be okay, it will get better” uh NO it doesn’t get better, you’re just forced to live with the painful truth. a pain so EXCRUCIATING and heart breaking you literally just feel dead, your soul is dead and you are just a walking skeleton sometimes i don’t even know how i live with my self . I try to be happy but its just so hard with out you..so when i lash out on the kids at school who are just trying to joke with me it hurts because they don’t know the truth.. no I’m not just tired.. I’m going crazy here and need you here with me. there is not a second that goes by that i don’t think about you, you’re just gone and so am i. I’ve thought about meeting you up at the big pearly white gates but i know it would be disappointing seeing me up there so i stay here and live on with out you . I miss you more then i can EVER put into words. Rest in paradise. I love you. </3 

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My life story (Every tiny detail, Very Personal)

so recently i have gotten a couple asks about my life story.. and yeah i have given a brief description of it but i got one anon asking for the full detailed version so here it goes (:

I am 16, i was born and raised in a small town about 50 miles away from Seattle Washington. When i was younger i was a very very happy out going girl, constantly doing sports (soccer, t ball, fast pitch, soft ball, basketball and cheer leading) it was pretty easy for me to make friends through elementary school, i was very great in school, always did my work and always had a very good connection with all my teachers. probably around the time i was in 1 grade i was over at my moms friends house hanging out with her son because we were friends, he was 2 years older and we grew up together, finally one day came when he touched me inappropriately and told me to do stuff to him. he told me if i told anyone he would “Shoot me if i didn’t do the things he told me to do” so i did them and i just felt so disgusted.. i never told anyone for a couple years until i met Crista in 3 grade when me and her became best friends i still to this day haven’t told my parents and the boy that did it has moved away (Thank god) through out life i have learned to just move on and try and forget this nasty memory even though it will still always be in my head i know this had made me a stronger person and i am happy with the way i have over come it(: anyways …  i had my first kiss (little peck) in 4 grade in a game with a group of us playing spin the bottle and that’s when i got my first little boyfriend who was in 5 grade we broke up a couple months later when he went to middle school . looking back on it i laugh because i was so young! LOL to this day i am still very good friends with him(: .I was a very nice girl who always included everyone and loved helping others until i got to 5 grade i got a little cold shoulder and decided to make this little club called the earthlings, there was about 7 girls in it and we were all very good friends we had meetings during recess and sleep overs every weekend! until the school didn’t like it because girls complained that i wasn’t including everyone.. so that ended to just a group of friends hanging out. Middle school came around and i loved it! i made a ton of new friends and started having crushes on some boys dated a boy named Zack for 5 months then broke up and stayed as friends..  nothing to extreme though nothing to big happened in 6 grade so we will move on to 7 grade. the summer of 6 grade during cheer camp i met a girl named Lexi she was a year younger then i was , we became friends instantly, as school came around she became my best friend, we never fought and had so much in common, i can’t even explain how nice it was to find someone who understand me as much as she did and always having someone there to talk to was a great feeling, we had tons of little inside jokes. although when the summer going into 8 grade came around the week before my birthday at my house me and Lexi were hanging out and she got this call as she walked towards me with tears in her eyes she told me to read her last face book post.. ( she couldn’t tell me in person because she was so upset) turns out she got the call her dad got re stationed (Hes in the air force) and she was moving back to Oklahoma within the next 2 weeks :( I was crushed… my best friend was token away from me with in 2 weeks and i barely got to hang out with her due to her packing, and saying goodbyes to everyone else:( she left August 16. 8 grade came around and that was suppost to be the best year ever and instead i became very depressed.. because Lexi didn’t make an effort what so ever to keep in touch.. i felt like nothing, yeah i had my other great friends but that one that i felt the closest with was gone.. i had nothing else to do but move on. i did some messed up things to myself in the process of moving on but today i am healing day by day. anyways back into 8 grade i met a guy who recently moved to my town named Codey, we became very close and he meant a lot to me he helped me move on and we were basically boyfriend/ girl friend just with out the label, everyone knew we were together so i was happy with that he took me to our first dance which was the “8 grade dance” and we had a very fun night! we stayed together all threw summer and made it official “Boyfriend/ girlfriend” on August 6 as we went into high school together as freshmen with in a month things changed and we decided to break up and remain friends.. although a couple months later he randomly called me saying i cheated on him? i have no clue where he came up with that from because it wasn’t true at all and it breaks my heart because still to this day he hates me. He spread rumors about me calling me a lesbian and that i was a slut.. i tried explaining to myself it wasn’t true at all but he still wouldn’t believe me.. he eventually said sorry about the rumors but he still just doesn’t like me so i guess i cant do anything about that and just hope for the best for him as life goes on. anyways i became best friends with 2 girls named madie and Julia we went to our first “older” guy party got high, and drank, i ended up having my first “make out” with a guy i had the biggest crush on.. he was a couple years older then me and i still am so happy that happened (: i met this guy named Justin there at the party as well (later in my story you will realize why he is special) anyways school went on and me and this boy and all the guys from the party became great friends and still are to this day. (as you can tell i am pretty mature for my age so most of the guys i did stuff with or have liked are at least 2 years older.) freshmen year ended and summer came around, having my 2 best friends by my side was the best (: we couldn’t drive yet so we walked around town and talked almost every summer day, July hit and i went on vacation and brought Madie with me and my brother brought his friend. little did his friend know i had HUGE crush on him and back when i was in 7 grade i txted him letting things get a little dirty (Haha..) little did i know it turns out Madie hid it from me that they were txting the whole time before vacation and she liked him and he liked her .. :( she went behind my back and  changed his name in her phone so i wouldn’t know they were txting .. after vacation she ended up telling me and i was mad but decided to put it all behind me .. we were still friends just not “Best friends” me and Julia were still solid though in august i ended up going to my cousins party and doing more stuff with the same guy i had my first make out with at this point in time i was still a virgin so we didn’t do to much anyways. through out my freshmen year i had boys talk to me for a week then stop or i would just because of no connection or because of the fact i wouldn’t just do anything with a guy i just met (or in other words have sex.) it is always funny when i hear people thinking i am a slut because honestly i really am not haha i mean Ive done stuff with only a couple times with a couple guys  so i find that pretty funny.. the other thing i should mention is I’m not to attracted to guys my age so the guys i talked to or talk to are usually 3-5 years older then me. ANYWAYS  me and Julia went to our first legit party august 24 called clean the green it was a HUGE party where you would pay to get in and you couldn’t get in unless you were 18 or older.. luckily i had my older friend Cami and his friend Justin *from earlier in the story* sneak us in (: we were SOLIDDD it was an amazing night and me and Justin ended up doing some stuff.. he txted me the next day and we hung out again me him and Julia .. me and him immediately had a strong connection .. he quickly became everything to me and we hung out every weekend making memories weather it was going to bonfires or going to street races it was amazing he put a great end to my summer and school started up, we still talked and hung out just still stuck to the weekends i was 15 at the time and he was 19. weeks went on and  we had to stop talking though (Long story very difficult to explain).. i posted a story about him earlier long story short him and his past gf he didn’t truly want to be with were together and i didn’t know, Dec 6 2013 came around and he txted me out of random asking to take a ride in his new car.. which was a very nice fast car.. so i said fuck it. i met him at the end of my drive way around 5;00 (Told my mom i was going to a movie with another friend) we drove around and yes he did have some to drink, but i didn’t really process it enough to figure out he shouldn’t be driving. we went 130mph in his new car i was laughing and scared at the same time, he promised me “don’t worry shay, everything is gonna be okay i promise!” i was scared at the time and yelling “Were gonna die!! omg!” we safely came through and were fine thankfully so we went back to his friends out to hang out .. he drank more„ i remembered he told me drunk words are sober thoughts earlier in the year when we hung out and so i always remember that when he was drunk because he always told me the sweetest stuff that i know he meant because he would text me the next day telling me it was. Anywaysss it’s now 7:00 and i needed to be home around 7:30 ish (due to the “movie” plans) so i told him to take me home and he made me promise if he took me home and made it right on time i would kiss him (He still had the gf so i didn’t want to get involved , but i ended up agreeing and home we went) we got to the end of my drive way and i arrived perfectly, i was about to get out and he stopped me and pulled me in for a kiss (i kissed him) and it was probably the best kiss i have ever received.. after he pulled me in for a hug and as he hugged me he told me “Shaylee I’ve missed you so much.. and something just told me that i needed to talk to you today, i care about you so much, please know that, i had a lot of fun tonight and wish you could stay longer, i will text you when i get back to the house, i love you.” of course i was shocked since he never told me this before but words couldn’t describe how happy i was.. i said it back and got out of the car, he drove off and went back to his friends.. he was gonna go to a party later so i figured he would go to his friends then go to the party. i txted him around 8:00 and we txted for a little bit then he just stopped i got his last text at 8:14 i figured oh okay he’s at the party oh well … but when i walked in the living room my mom asked if i knew a “Justin (last name)” and i said yeah why? (Thinking she caught me hanging with him) but she then told me “well i just talked to my friend who told me Justin was on his way somewhere with a friend, over swerved going 130MPH and ran straight into a car, both boys were killed instantly at 8:20” i immediately said “No that’s impossible mom.. no.. this can’t be..” i fell to my knees crying i was broken and still am, the fact that i was with him and txting him right before. I constantly think to this day why couldn’t i have been in the car with him, i miss you so much Justin. WHY!?!? can i please just rewind? :( can i go back in time? please god, take me off this planet.. i need you here babe .. I hope no one ever has to endure pain like this, no one truly understand how terrible this is. i began doing stupid stuff to myself again hoping it would help numb the pain. i became suicidal and thought of every possible way i could get off this earth, hoping my car would crash, hoping i would eat poison, anything, i would cry every night, dry heaving hoping i could just get one last hug from Justin, my friends were there for me yeah, but they truly didn’t know the full extent on how bad i was and am today,  every single day, going to school feeling empty, broken. anything to describe dead in the mind was me, i don’t even know how to explain how hurt i was .. i thought my best friend moving away in 7 grade was bad but no i was wrong.. this is excruciating.. but knowing i had my great friends Julia and Crista to help me through it was a good feeling.. they were always strong helpers for me when it came to this. but still i was just hurt. i started doing more drugs to get the pain off. as time went on i met this guy that eventually showed me what it felt like to be happy, his name was Jordan, he is honestly the happiest person i have ever met, always with a smile on his face and is the sweetest guy ever he has the cutest smile and treats me like a princess btw he is 20 and i am 16 so we are very privet and not many people know we are talking , only close friends and mine and his parents (: , we have been talking and are pretty much boy friend girl friend. but it is now July and things are changing.. i don’t feel the same as i used to and i wonder why because he is honestly perfect for me and perfect to me… he made me so happy and i made him happy .. i feel so wrong for feeling the way i do but i cant help it :( i feel like a messed up person ever since Justin died and that i will never be able to care and love someone as much as i did with him. it hurts me so much because none of my friends will ever realize the position I’m in i mean i just feel so weak when people ask me “are you even ready for a another guy in your life?” like come on.. don’t make me feel like I’m a different person then anyone else. Anyways,  me and Jordan were doing great in June then i went to this senior graduate party up in green water where everyone went camping, i got super drunk with one of the older guys there and i ended up falling asleep in his car i woke up still drunk and thought i blacked out later that day someone told me me and that guy had sex??? i was surprised because i know i wouldn’t have done this, i still went to the hospital to get checked out and it was the worst experience ever.. i had to gt shots and take over 20 different pills to protect against any STDs the guy could have had and to prevent getting pregnant .. To this day i KNOW that i did not get raped or anything i KNOW i just fell asleep in the car i still told Jordan about this and he thought i was lying and that i did do stuff with this guy which caused us many problems ANYWAYS its a very long story so message me off anon if you want more details about it! sooo then  in mid July i got this call of him asking me if i liked another guy… of course i didn’t like another guy.. where could he have herd this? turns out my friend Crista told him what me and her talked about.. i can understand more of why she did this but  it’s one of those things like really.. how could you just throw me under the bus like that.me and Jordan worked things out and then 2 days later while i was on vacation i got another call from him saying “we were done and that i had lied to him all this time” what the heck i thought.. did Crista say something else? no.. it turns out the person i thought i could tell anything to and trust with everything with Julia. had told him all these horrible things. Now that hurt.. honestly It wasn’t her place at all to tell him that. He called her asking to help him out for a birthday present for me. and instead of just helping him out she just had to cause more problems we worked everything out and starting to do better but this totally just screwed me and jordan up and i feel like there is no way around this huge problem they both caused.. after all this time and everything I’ve been going through and everything she has told me i have not once said a thing to anyone, after all this time of me sticking up for her and Crista when they were being called trashy sluts, coke whores, and down hill ratchets i was the only one who ever had there back and after all of this I am the one who gets hurt. The 2 people i honestly went to everything for if i needed some help or just someone to talk to had just back stabbed me. Really? what the heck did i do to deserve this.. if anything i was more angry then hurt, for that reason i just said fuck it, i told Julia we wouldn’t be friends anymore. Because of the reason every one i thought i was “Friends” with ALWAYS go behind my back with things.. i feel like i am one of the nicer friends who always is there for everyone and is very trust worthy.. and this is what i get in return? Yes i am still friends with Crista i just know i won’t ever go to her if i ever need anyone to talk to.. even though her and Ju were the only ones i went to i guess it’s just better to keep things to myself now.. every night i hold justins sweat shirt, and hope to god he’s listening to me when i just need to talk. hoping he’s there joking around with me up in heaven or telling me how unique & beautiful i am for having a messed up back. I just wish i still had that one person that was Julia back to her old self to laugh about the memories we both had with Justin when ever we were all together. I still have mine and Justin’s txts and read them almost every day telling my self he is in a better place now. In all honestly i just wish i meant as much as i thought i meant to my friends, They mean the world to me and it hurts so much feeling so worthless i hate it.. but hopefully things will get better and i will learn to trust them again. I try so hard to keep others happy and to make people laugh but i guess I’m not doing a very good job at it i just wish no one felt the way i did at the end of the day, feeling like i fail at the things i do, and that i cant ever do anything right. As time goes on from Justins death i have tried different drugs (acid, shrooms, molly, klonopin, and a couple others that my friends don’t know about with people my friends have no clue i know.. i really just don’t want them knowing the things i did to try and numb the pain, All in all if they are reading this they probably can tell I’m pretty mysterious by now…i mean fuck.. talking about this makes me feel like they don’t even know me.. i guess no one truly does know the real me and the things i have done.. quite sad honestly..sometimes i just wish i could sit down and tell my friends exactly the way every drug ive done feels and just hope that they wont make the same mistakes as i did and still am making.)  my friends obviously aren’t happy with me if i cant even go to them for help i just don’t get what i am doing wrong? some of you actually might think i am crazy saying this but i actually see people.. that aren’t literally in our world.. they sit there and talk to me about random things.. i feel like i see these people from the past drugs i have done,  same with the strong panic attacks i get and anxiety problems. my friends always ask “Why did you quit doing molly??” (because we used to do it a lot together) i just would say idk i don’t feel like it.. when really i wasn’t just doing molly at the time, i would do molly then i would go take more of a different drug (I wont say it openly on here) that i wouldn’t tell them I’m doing, to keep me from thinking about Justin. doing both made the high 10X stronger and made me see things which explains the random people i see now.. honestly talking about this feels so weird because there is literally a whole other side of me that no one knows about not even my closest friends.. looking back I’m glad i never told them what i did. Because i know they definitely would wanna tell people the stuff i have done and seen.. anyways..  through out life i have learned to see the positive in everything , i am actually a very positive& friendly person when it comes to being around others, these past years have been pretty depressing which is why i have the blog  named “positive vibes” it basically represents everything that keeps me happy, when ever i get on and look at it and have people to talk it makes my day (: i am just so proud of what it is and how many people adore it. There is absolutely nothing negative about it so when ever I’m feeling down i just look at my tumblr and realize there is more to life then just the people at school or silly fights i get in. I am hoping to graduate as an honors student (I got on on honors this year) and move to a cute cabin up in green water for a year before heading off to college I adore the outdoors and even though everyone probably thinks I’m jumping on the “band wagon” of a “happy hippie” that is just the many things i strive to be some day along with finding Sasquatch. (Yes i am being serious haha) I always find it funny when people start dong the things i do and copy me AKA all of my friends who are literally just jumping on a band wagon because they don’t even know what i am talking about when i talk about environmentalists or naturalists.  Or especially when i tell them my beliefs on spiritualism. it just makes me laugh because i have talked about this stuff for years and they are just now when everyone else is talking about it trying to act as i am. (Not to sound rude or anything it’s just a huge pet peeve) anyways more about my life today, i feel as if i am a very strong person, one of the things that always keeps me going is when ever i think about Justin or hear a song me and him used to listen to, i get goose bumps and just know it’s Justin sitting there with me the feeling of this makes me sooo happy.To be honest this whole story seems super depressing so don’t think i have a bad life, i don’t, i know life gets rough and  i know others have it way worse. i am a very optimistic person and hope one day i can help others out because I LOVE making other people happy and seeing them smile because of me, that is one of the many things that actually keeps me going in life. Everything on my blog is something i love and has a lot of meaning to me so as you can tell I’m a very free spirited young girl who enjoys nature and the things around me, through out these past couple months i have learned to accept the things changing around me and the people who have decided to do me wrong which is making me become a stronger and happier person(: ALSO one person i didn’t get to mention is my current best friend Haley, She has always been there for me and is one of the sweetest girls ever, i adore her and I’m literally with her every single day. through out this summer me and her have met so many great people and became close with tons of them, i love how outgoing we have became and the fact that we made so many great friends she has helped me become a better person. To conclude this story there are some things i cant directly say due to the fact i have a friend that follows me on here and i can’t let her know what the secret is so if anyone wants to know just message me off anon and i will tell you the things i cannot say publicly maybe someone can help me get out of the pickle i am in.. because it’s a bad one.. haha.

Anyways that is most of my life i feel as if i left a lot out so if you have any questions just message me and i would love to answer. I hope this helped you understand me a little more sorry if it is confusing, i know i jumped around a lot (: Btw i will find the post about Justin and Re blog it from my profile so you know the full story on him.

much love guys have a lovely dayxx

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Anonymous asked: Have you considered doing nude art?

I haven’t but that actually seems interesting !

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Anonymous asked: Can you tell me your life story? I want to know every piece and detail. I want to know about the things and people that've brought you up and the things and people that've brought you down. I want to know about every heartache and heartbreak. Just let me know you. Because your personal posts have inspired me to want to know every detail.

Hey there anon! I would love to share my story, I will write as detailed as I can , I will post later when I get on my laptop! Have a lovely day!xx

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